Monthly Archives: October 2010

The Town That Was – I

The town was my home. And it will always remain home. In the sense that it will always the same for me. In the sense that it will always remain the same for everyone. In the sense that nothing will ever change there. It’s a town frozen in time.

It’s been 8 years since I left home. And whenever I go back, I never face any of the troubles that one usually has while driving on unfamiliar roads. The pattern of the potholes on the roads has been the same, ever since I’ve been seeing them. I could drive blindfolded on this road. The maneuvers, the twists and turns come naturally to me. They’re a part of me now.

******

It was all in the air. The classrooms where boys adjusted walks and strides and fidgeted with desks to get an optimum ‘view’ of the correct Geography (or Biology, whatever). Where ‘mast’ History (imagined and otherwise) of others’ lives was drooled and smacked over enough to make Akbar turn in his grave with jealousy. Where Life Processes – II was the most interesting chapter ever.

The temple atop a hill in the middle of the town, on the stairs of which every to-be couple could be found in the infancy of their relationships. The more ‘advanced’ couples could be found behind the curtains of the cubicles of the sleazy cyber cafes. The college where boys went (they still go, I’m told) to see and imagine. And where girls went to display their wares within permissible add-on limits and with ‘allowed’ decorations and other visual effects.

The gaolish girls’ hostels which restricted its girls to step out of for only six out of every hundred sixty hours. Out of the fear that they might have sex, if allowed out for longer hours. Ostensibly.

The mobile SIM card shop owners who sold girls’ cellphone numbers at face value of 1o bucks per number. The market rates depended on another kind of face value, though.

******

Every Nikita stepping out of her house was protected and seen over by 5-6 unpaid guards on a voluntary, area-divided basis. From her home to Gandhinagar – Bunty, from Gandhinagar to Gulab Bari – Veeru, from Gulab Bari to Mayo College – Yasin, and so on and so forth. There was perfect understanding of healthy competition between the Buntys and Veerus and Yasins. Any chikna who went to the same ‘tuition’ as Nikita and tried to ‘do’ ‘phrendsip’ was beaten black and blue and thus, effectively eliminated from causing any harm to Nikita’s ‘character’, thus saving her from being ‘set’, in the eyes of the unpaid guards and from being ‘corrupted’ in the eyes of the aunties of the colony.

And yeah, of course, Bunty, Veeru and Yasin, all could claim Nikita as ‘meri wali’. If anyone else was heard making such a claim, well, his claim was settled in a manner described previously. Blood eventually spilled in the lane where Nikita’s scooty turned.

All this could go on for years without Nikita getting a clue about it.

******

In my sixteenth year, I fell for her. Like Ali bhai in ‘Dhoom’ falls over Rimi Sen. I remained in this ‘fallen’ state for a year, after which I talked to her. Her tone and accent were such a turn-off that my crush evaporated. She called me up to ‘clear’ things at which point I told her that she wasn’t worth my attention. She got so pissed that she got her ‘brothers’ to beat me up.

A few years later, I see her at the ice cream shop. Pretend to ignore, but in reality examining her wares. To try to gauge how much is she worth in the market, on the few obvious parameters.  She being a girl is of course one step ahead of me. I know she’s trying to gauge my market value. How, though? Maybe by gauging the subtlety of my gauge.

We both buy our ice cream bricks and go our separate ways. She has grown really, really sexy.

******

There’s a caterer, who has on display some 4 types of ‘sabjis’, 3 types of ‘poodi’ and ‘non’, salad, dahi bade, 2 types of rice, 3 types of ‘sveet’ etc etc. Then there’s the Tawa, which has another 4 types of bharwa-type sabjis. Then there’s the Kadahi, which has dal-fry, one with onion-garlic and one without.

Then there are the ‘stalls’. A Rajasthani with huge moustaches pouring milk in earthen kullads from a huge kadahi. There’re chow-mien, dosa, cheela, ice cream, coffee, paan and what not.

Someone would be excused for thinking that India was a powerhouse nation. Well, it is actually. In the field of digestion.

Under the milk-white lighting across the huge marriage-lawn, there are girls. Girls trying to impress potential suitors and their parents, and girls going red and green with jealousy of other, better endowed girls. There are uncles, the ‘modern’ ones, who prefer to greet such girls by hugging them. There are aunties cocking a snook at such uncles.

Introductions are done, and even relations built. Among the mature people. Like uncles, aunties and girls. Boys are too sloshed in the bevvy of lehengas and zari and sari and skin-hugging jeans and the occasional short skirt competing for their attention. They have attained Nirvana. They desire nothing more.

In a remote corner, the bride and bride groom are sitting on thrones. One of the gatecrashers from the nearby Medical College is slipping a gift-wrapped packet of condoms to the groom. ‘Happy marriage boss…’

******

Related Posts:

The Town that was – II http://wp.me/p1jJo-ee

The Town that was – III: http://wp.me/p1jJo-eR

Categories: Memoirs | 39 Comments

Wide Shut

“Thwat!”

She shot him an alarmed look as eyes turned in their direction. Surreptitiously fiddling with her bra in crowded malls got him off. This particular adventure under the hook, however, had gone a bit too loud.

With curious eyes on them, she walked quickly. She wanted to get as far away as possible.

“Well, even Amma would never have imagined me holding hands with her dad before marriage”, reasoned the bespectacled, sari-clad woman as her shocked expressions melted into a sigh.

Categories: Erotica, Short Stories | 24 Comments

Flame

His jaw dropped as she walked out of the trial room.

He could smell of her in the soft, lacy material in her purse she allowed a glance at.

Lightning bolts zapped through her as the raw silk of the topper rubbed against her tender, erect lobes as she snuggled up to him on the bike.

They were burning for his touch as he shut the door behind her.

—–x—–x—–

Inspired by the works of Kunal and Sangfroid.

Cheers!

Categories: Erotica, Short Stories | 18 Comments

3 Idiots

The wannabe photographer revved his bike. The speedometer needle pushed, and then finally crossed 90. And then, into the stillness of the highway night, he screamed

“AAAAAALL IIIIIIIIIIZZ WEEEEEEEEEELL”

And for that moment, he felt that his life wasn’t so bad after all.

The wannabe researcher pushed his cellphone into his desk drawer and banged it shut. He could hear the cellphone collide with the inside walls. And then with finality, he went out and locked his flat.

His phone rang after some time. To the beautiful tune of

“Saari umra hum, mar mar ke ji liye…”

“A good way to pretend that I am still doing research…” thought the researcher.

The confused software guy sat in front of his office PC. “Shit, WTF is the problem with the fucking memory allocation! ”

All of a sudden, despite the looming deadline, the memories of his first year in college, when he and his friends had mastered Malloc and Calloc together, came to him. And like every other memory of college, came rushing with it his friends the photographer and the researcher. And with them, their wild, free spirits and the fierce will to break free.

A  song automatically came to his lips.

“Behti hawa se the wo…”

Meanwhile, the balatkari was entering IIM for another two years of non-stop balatkar.

Categories: Short Stories | 21 Comments

दो कवितायें

इस वर्ष की शुरुआत हुई थी दो कविताओं के वागर्थ के जनवरी अंक में प्रकाशन से. ब्लॉग पर डाला ही नहीं, न कुछ एक दोस्तों, जिनसे कि रोज़ बात हो रही थी, को छोड़कर किसी को बताया. न जाने क्यों बताने की ज़रुरत ही महसूस नहीं हुई.

अभी ट्रिपल आई टी ब्लॉग जगत के लम्बे समय के साथी कुनाल की कहानियाँ प्रकाशित होने वाली हैं. कुनाल को ढेर सारी बधाइयाँ! आपकी किताब प्रकाशित होने का इंतज़ार रहेगा. जो अभी प्रकाशित हो रही है उसका, और जो आगे प्रकाशित होंगी, उनका भी.

कवितायें बहरहाल यहाँ.

बाँझ

इतिहास के सूखे कुँए में
वीरता का एक खँडहर है
जिसके परकोटे से झांकता,
पान मसाला चबाता हुआ एक युवक
दूर कहीं एक गगनचुम्बी इमारत
की सबसे ऊपरी ही मंजिल
को देख पाता है,
ठहाका लगाता है
और मूंछ मरोड़ मरोड़ कर
कमर तक घूंघट किये बैठी
अपनी औरत को
अपने परदादा की
अँगरेज़ बहादुर से दोस्ती के किस्से सुनाता है .

दूर उस इमारत की
हरे कांच की दीवारों
के पीछे बैठा मैं
एस्प्रेसो की ठंडी चुस्कियां लेता हुआ
एक गर्व भरी मुस्कान के साथ
उसे देखता रहता हूँ,
और फिर टाई की नॉट सीधी करके
घुस जाता हूँ अपने कंप्यूटर में
किसी और गोरे की चाकरी करने.

हम दोनों के बीच में जो धरती है,
साली वह आज तक बाँझ है
क्योंकि हमारी जैसी औलादें पैदा की हैं उसने.

__________________________

मेरे साथ

लोग बैठे हैं दुकानों पर
कि बढ़ाते समय
भारी से भारी गल्ला साथ ले जाएँ.

लोग बैठे हैं दफ्तरों में
कि महीने के आखिर में
मोटे से मोटा चेक साथ ले जाएँ.

लोग बैठे हैं पढाई करने
कि कॉलेज छोड़ते समय
ऊंचे से ऊंचे ग्रेड साथ ले जाएँ.

मैं भी हूँ बैठा, भादों की इस रात में,
जंगल में तालाब के किनारे.
मेंढकों की टर – टर,
झींगुरों की झाँये – झाँये,
या इस काली सतह पर
दूर तक फैली नीरवता
का ही शायद कोई टुकडा
चला आये मेरे साथ भी.

(वागर्थ, जनवरी २०१०)

लाल्टू सर और उनके हिंदी कोर्स के बिना शायद मैं तो कवितायें लिखना और छपवाना तो दूर, पढ़ना भी शुरू नहीं करता. यह अतिशयोक्ति बिलकुल नहीं है कि जो कुछ कवि मैं हूँ/ रहा हूँ, वह उन्हीं की वजह से. शब्द छोटे हैं, पर फिर भी कहूँगा कि थैंक्स, सर.

Categories: Poems | 7 Comments

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